I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
