I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
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I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
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I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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