Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
