I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
