I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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