You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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