the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
