I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
