bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My day in three words: secret purse cake
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
