you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize