found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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