Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
sex in a hospital.. check
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
