I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
