you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
