as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
