New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
