I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize