dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
