I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
this will be a night to untag.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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