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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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