like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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