he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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