WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
