she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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