4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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