Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
