It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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