He is an equal opportunity slut.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Farmville is her only friend.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
