some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
