Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
