Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
