I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
