yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
