I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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