Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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