Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
