got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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