I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
