From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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