My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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