"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
