if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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