once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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