nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
