Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
