Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(806): View more from Texas

Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..

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(216): View more from Ohio

It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.

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(410): View more from Maryland

what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?

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(917): View more from New York City

someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

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(509): View more from Washington

He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.

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(913): View more from Kansas

My vagina is very pro this idea

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(515): View more from Iowa

This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.

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