I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
3 2 1 whiskey
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
