That reminds me...we need to get swords
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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