In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
