pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
