i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
