Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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