Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
