i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
