dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
