Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
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Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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