Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
