I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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