Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
