I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
