I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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