I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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