i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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