i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
